A Very Merry Unbirthday!
by Elise the Writing Desk
Summary: Little Alice went to Wonderland to congratulate her fellow Roleholders of their Unbirthday! Therefore, she's giving friendly-kisses as the presents. Her errand was going great, everyone was happy, until she arrived at the Tea-Party, and our selfish Mad Hatter wouldn't let her go! "That bloody Hatter! Knight! Cat! Gather the rest, and attack that prat! I want my Unbirthday Present!"


This is a combination of the Original Alice's Adventures in Wonderland (timeline) and QuinRose's game (children version). Enjoy.

* * *

**A Very Merry Unbirthday!**

_December 18th, 2012_  
by Elise the Writing Desk, Heart no Kuni no Alice by QuinRose

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Chapter 1  
The Kiss Hunt Game

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It was 1862 in Oxford, summer. Ten years old Alice Liddell yawned as her older sister read out a boring classic lit; _Pride and Prejudice_. The little girl didn't understand how that boring, thick book about social status and romance made her older sister giggle and squeal.

Her younger sister, Edith, had fallen asleep beside Lorina, the older sister.

A wide smile crossed Alice's feature, as she jumped down the tree she was hanging on, and ran to the bushes. There, a big tree where she'd found a wondrous, curious rabbit hole, had been waiting for her. She crawled and disappeared into it.

Only, of course, we all know it wasn't headed to a bunch of rabbit families.

~.X.~

"Hey, it's been a while, Alice!" a little brunette boy laughed as he watched the girl slowly landed, with her skirt and apron floating like a parachute. "Is your sister reading a boring book about 'love' again?" he asked, shoving his small hands into his pockets.

"Hey, Ace! Nevermind my sister—Happy unbirthday!" she cheered and finally landed on the ground. "I've been dying out of boredom up there!" she sighed and ruffled her head, before digging the pocket of her apron. "I've also brought a tart! Each one is for everyone in Wonderland!"

Ace, the little brunette, a very young knight-apprentice, raised his eyebrows, eyes quickly stopped on the very interesting box of tarts.

"I won't let you steal this, though." Alice bluntly said, knowing full well what was on his mind.

"But the Queen will think you're stealing from her anyway!" Ace protested, crossing his arms, laughing. "Oh well, let's just get out of here." He then extended his hand, "Can I have my tart, then?"

"Sure." Alice handed out a chocolate tart, and then froze.

'EAT ME'. Huh. She didn't remember ever writing that. Ah, Wonderland loved to do things as it please! She sighed and shared the tart. As the two of them ate it, they grew in instant. Ace took out a key and they ran to the biggest in the Fortress of Doors.

~.X.~

Alice was pouting and scowling deeply as she was painting the roses red in the garden of Castle of Hearts. She then scowled to the young Queen of Hearts (16), who was glowering down on her.

"I've told you, I brought them from my world!" she protested again.

"How many times do we have to remind you!? All tarts in Wonderland belongs to us!" Teenage Queen Vivaldi scoffed, crossing her arms haughtily. "Talk back to us such, once more, and we'll see your head off right this afternoon!" she then gave her a pointing glare before walking away with the teddy bear in her arms.

Alice grumbled and continued to paint the rest of remaining roses (while the Garden Cards kept on planting the wrong, white roses). She went here to get away from boredom, not to paint white roses. Well, it had been six years since her first coming to Wonderland, yet the world was ever so dynamic she couldn't get used to it.

"Psst, Alice!"

Alice almost jumped, and noticed the Cheshire Cat (11), hanging about on the heart-shaped birch tree, twinkling his fingers to her invitingly.

"Let's ditch your job and play~!" Boris persuaded.

"She'll cut me!" Alice frowned. "By the way, happy unbirthday! But I can't give you a present—the Queen has taken the tarts from me!"

Boris purred and rolled, staring at the girl upside-down. "Which means she's just taking back what's hers, which means you've stolen them! Bad, bad, Alice the little thief! What shall I do to punish you?"

Alice scowled angrily. "I didn't steal! It was mine!"

"Did you have your names written on them?"

"No..."

"Then those weren't yours! Thief!"

"But the Queen doesn't have her names written on them as well!"

"Oh, but a Queen _owns_ everything! Isn't that the whole point of being a Queen? If she can't, then she's no different than you~"

Alice sighed and wiped her forehead from sweat. "Well, I suppose..." she'd never won an argument with the darn cat.

Boris grinned wider and sat up. "Well, in that case, I know what's your punishment!" he then turned to the direction where Vivaldi had walked. "Your majesty!" he called, while jumping off the tree and snatched the bucket of red paint from Alice, who was too startled. He then proceeded to splash the whole bucket to the tree. "Your majesty! Look! Look! Come! Come! Alice has painted your tree red!"

Alice gasped. "Boris! You darn cat—"

"Guards! Guards!" Vivaldi shrieked as she came back, running.

"Better run now before it's too late, dear!" Boris grinned before he disappeared through the bushes. Alice grimaced and quickly jumped into the labyrinth and frantically ran.

She kept running, trying to ignore how close the footsteps of Cards sounded.

She ran, and ran, and kept running and she got very thirsty that she felt she couldn't run anymore. That was when she finally found a fountain (which she was pretty sure wasn't there before). She quickly drank using her hands to scoop, drinking as much as she could.

Before anything else, she finally noticed she had shrunk terribly! That was unexpected, but she didn't waste her time and quickly got into the bush.

Alice managed to escape Vivaldi's wrath. She had to find and kill Boris with barehands if she managed to escape the palace...

~.X.~

"Now where was I..." Alice sighed tiredly and looked around the Tulgey Wood, completely lost. She then heard some angry screams and knocking sounds of woods deeper in the wood and decided to take a look.

"Tweedle Dee! Tweedle Dum!" Alice exclaimed. The twins were currently fighting with their wooden swords, hitting each other with everything they've got.

"I said we're going to chant about _You're Old Father William_!" Dee, the blue-themed twin, smaced his brother's shin.

"Nay! _The Walrus and The Carpenter_! If not it, nohow!" Dum, the red-themed one, knocking is wooden sword to his brother's head.

"Contrariwise, if you lose, we're going to chant; _You're Old, Father William_!"

"That's what you think'd happen, but I don't think so, nohow!"

"Happy unbirthday!" Alice jumped right in the middle of the twins and caught their swords before they went off for another stupid fight.

"Happy unbirthday Alice!" the Tweedle Twins (4) greeted back, instantly smiling as if the fight earlier had never happened. The two came to hug the girl and hit each other with their swords instead.

"Ouch, Dee, you're so clumsy, nohow!"

"Contrariwise, it's you who's clumsy, Dum!"

"Okay, since I can't give you any present, I can only give this to you." Alice said, ignorin their constantly-happening-fights. The twins turned at her with wonders.

"What is it?"

"If I give you your unbirthday presents, will you stop fighting and promise to be the best twins?" Alice put her hands on hips.

"Okay!" the Tweedles nodded. So, she kissed each of them on the forehead.

"There! Now I have to give this to the others as their unbirthday presents! Fairfarren!" she then waved and walked away, leaving the twins dumbstruck.

Dee and Dum gaped at each other and raised their hands.

"That was our first unbirthday gift, nohow!" Dum shrieked.

"Contrariwise, that feels amazing!" Dee was clutching his forehead.

That was when the purple-haired Cheshire Cat appeared, coming out of a Fig tree, while his tail poking out at the other hind side.

"What is that amazing unbirthday gift?"

"Oh, are you curious, Cheshire?" Dee asked.

"I'm very, very, very mad, and very, very, very curious, yes I am." Boris nodded thrice.

"Well, if you find her, she might give you the same gift as well." Dum grinned.

"She's giving off the same gift to every roleholders." Dee nodded.

"So tell me what is it! For I could lost my first life and maybe I'm still dying in my second life, and in my third, and the fourth, and on and on until it's only my ninth life left, and I'd finally die, but I won't." Boris was grinning wide, ear to ear, eyes glimmering with curiosity.

"Well, she's giving everyone a kiss on the forehead as the unbirthday gift!" the Tweedles exclaimed grandly.

...

...

"I should go find her." Boris' pupils narrowed cat-likely, his tail turned stiff and pointy. "Before she snogs the Hatter!" he hissed and disappeared into the Fig tree, leaving the Tweedles speechless.

"Why?" they asked to no one, but Boris appeared again, this time from behind a far bush, and yelled the answer.

"Because I can't stand it if she uses those lips to me after kissing that crazy prat's head!" he disappeared again.

Dee frowned to his brother. "The cat is very possessive, nohow."

"Contrariwise, I think being possessive is every cats' problem." Dum shook his head.

~.X.~

Nightmare Gottschalk (14), was sitting on a toadstool as he was smoking bubbles with his toy-pipe, humming happily, nose-bleeding. Every now and then, he'd laugh crazily. Meanwhile, a lizard-marked Gray Ringmarc (14), was sitting on a higher giant toadstool, staring at the sky, blushing, holding a bottle of brandy while hiccupping once in a while.

"Okay...what's going on here?" Ace came, laughing as he walked through some giant flowers.

The lizard glanced at the knight emptily, and hiccupped, unanswering.

The incubus laughed again crazily and held his right cheek.

"Today is the best unbirthday ever~!" he giggled like a lovesick boy (well the sick part was true).

"Yes, indeed!" Ace chuckled. "Alice just shared a tart with me! Joy, indeed! However, I got separated from her when the guards caught us. So she passed here?"

"Yes, yes, she did." Nightmare sighed happily. "She kissed us once on our right cheek, though, as our unbirthday gift..." he sighed and dropped his back on the toadstool.

Ace froze, still smiling. "Oh. She kissed both of you on cheek?"

"She did." Gray said, and hiccupped, and followed Nightmare, lying on his toadstool. "I'm not even drunk because of this Brandy...how strange..." he hiccupped.

Nightmare sat up, and frowned at the knight apprentice. "Um...so...why are you taking out your sword, Knight of Hearts?"

Ace laughed almost hysterically. "No, nothing! I'm just about to destroy some dirty _living proof_."

As Nightmare turned pale, Gray stood up and had already grabbed out knives, filling every books of his fingers.

"It's going to be very difficult to—" Gray hiccupped, "—do so. You're a hundred years too fast to fight me."

Nightmare whimpered, wondering when would be the right time to escape the two young lunatics.

~.X.~

The fur of Boris' tail suddenly stood, and his ears twitched in anxiety as he neared the Duchess' grand yard. There were constructions being held here and there, and the workers seemed to be dispirited, clamping their ears.

As he came nearer the old Duchess' house, Boris heard a horrendous voice.

The young Duke was playing his violin in front of his old house, while pigs running about him frantically, unable to escape the farm-fences. Some pigs had already passed out. The song he played was even more horrendous than usual!

"My eardrums!" Boris groaned and quickly took out his earplugs and saved his eardrums before coming closer, and flinched. Even earplugs had no use against the horrible violinist' play!

"My, my, young Duke! You surely frighten the whole Wonderland with your omnipotently destructive soundwave!" Boris sneered over the song.

Mary Gowland (19), stopped playing and glared at the Cheshire Cat. He had his hands on hips. "Shoo! Shoo! Cat! I have no business with you! Shoo!"

Boris groaned. "Why of all babies that turned into pigs, you're not the one? I'm highly convinced those other pigs can play that violin better than you do."

"Shoo! Shoo! Or I'll—pepper! Pepper!" he was yelling at his cook to get him a pepper grinder. "Shoo, shoo, Cat! I'm supposed to have the happiest unbirthday right now until you came! I'm highly sure even if you kiss me on the cheek, I won't be as happy as I was five minutes ago! Cook! Pepper! PEPPER!"

Boris gawked in disgust. "My! Don't tell me Alice had came and kissed you as well!"

Gowland stopped calling his cook and stared at Boris in confuse, and smiled, sighing. "Why, she did~! Right on my left cheek!"

"Nooo!"

~.X.~

"Mr. Rabbit! Oh Mr. Rabbit!" Alice squealed as she jumped over a tree's root, chasing a particular white-haired rabbit boy. "Come on! I'm going to give you your unbirthday present!"

"Oh dear, leave me alone!" Peter White (12), grimaced and hopped over a toadstool. "I have no time for accepting my unbirthday present!" he panted, running away frantically.

"Oh come on, just a second!"

"I don't even have a second! I'm late to Her Majesty's Tea Party!" he glanced at Alice over his shoulders, "And you're supposed to be there as well, in the guillotine! You've painted her tree red!"

"Oh? You're going to capture me, then?" Alice yelled to his back, panting a little.

"I have no time to even capture you! Leave me alone!" Peter yelled without looking back, climbing over a giant rose's leaf.

"I can't leave until I give you your unbirthday present!" Alice crawled down through the arch of giant dandelion. "You'd be even later if you don't let me give you the present!"

Peter groaned and finally ran back to the girl, scowling. "Fine, fine! Hurry, hurry, hurry, Alice! I'm very late as it is—" the white rabbit fell silent as the girl kissed his nose, and tripped back, hitting the rose's leaf.

"Ouch. Ah, there you go! Now you can leave, Mr. Rabbit. Bye!" Alice then crawled back before running away to different direction.

Peter was left dumbstruck, gaping, immobilized, blushing.

It turned out, he'd got even later after he received his unbirthday present...

~.X.~

"No space! No space! There's no space for you!" the young Hare-boy yelled frantically, pushing Alice away from the grand, bizzare, tea-table. It had been six years and the table was still the same as Alice could remember; tea-pot fuming, some clattering as if being boiled, the Dormouse-boy sleeping with a sugar pot on covering his head, the same tea-stain and puddle hadn't been wiped for six years, the young Hatter was as ignorant as ever, just smiling as he enjoyed his tea, and the sky was always in the color of sunset; 6 PM.

"I've told you at least one hundred and fourty four times that there are enough space for anyone!" Alice puffed her cheeks.

"And I've told you about the same amounts of times, you're a rude, uninvited guest!" Elliot March (12), pointed accusingly at the girl with his teaspoon.

Alice scoffed nonchalantly and took a seat, because everytime the Hare had said that, they'd let her sit anyways. However, there had been one difference in the party that year. A navy-haired boy was tied on a seat across hers.

"Oh! You've a new guest? May I know him?" she asked to Blood Dupre (13), who smirked at her in amuse.

"You've been barging rudely, I see no reason why you may not." He sneered teasingly as always.

"So who is he?" she asked, after trying to hold her temper.

"Why, this is the one I've been telling you every tea party." Blood waved his hand to the scowling boy, "My dear friend, the Time himself! I've invited him warmly to my grand tea-party so we can discuss about my old punishment." He explained, smirking all the way.

Alice blinked. "Oh, Her Majesty's punishment because you 'killed the Time' with your horrible song in her party?"

"Yes, yes indeed, dear. Where _he_," Blood nodded to the 'Time'-boy, "...proceeds to keep the time in my area to be forever in tea-time. Now I've been cursed and get sick of tea-time that I couldn't live without tea at all!"

"You may know my name, Alice the frequent foreigner, I see. I'm Julius Monrey." The 'Time' spoke, as in Julius Monrey (15), while scowling deep at the selfish Hatter. "And for the two hundred and fifty seventh time, I won't change the time for you. Her Majesty might behead me if I do so against her order." He scoffed coldly.

"My, my, dear friend. Please don't be so stubborn, will you?" Blood chuckled in amuse, and then turned at the foreigner. "Let's change the subject. Now, sweetheart Alice, why are you ever-so-rudely here? Am I right to suspect that you're missing the dear Hatter?"

"Hmph!" Alice puffed and stood from her seat. "I was going to greet you happy unbirthday! But you're such a bully. I won't even give you the gift! Instead, I'll congratulate the Time!" she then walked to the other side of the tea table and waved.

"Happy unbirthday, Time!"

"Oh my! This is my unbirthday too!" Elliot screeched, spilling his teapot as he stood, and frowned at the foreigner. "Why don't you congratulate me too!?"

"Because you and the Hatter don't welcome or invite me." Alice stuck out her tongue, and moved to the Dormouse, Pierce Villiers (10), who was sleeping under the same sugar pot.

"Happy unbirthday, Dormouse!"

"Aaahh! Cats! Bats!? Oh? Alice? Yes...yes..." Pierce yawned, "I just thought of a word which starts with an 'M'...thank for the Merry Unbirthday...Zzz..." he slumped into his coffee mug as he fell asleep.

"But I have your unbirthday present!" Alice whined.

"Present?" the Hatter and the Hare now pointedly gazed at the girl in wonder.

Alice pursed her lips at them again. "Yes, presents! Now that the Dormouse is asleep, then I'll just give the present to dear Julius over here!" she haughtily moved back to Julius, who was still watching in wonder.

"Here's your gift, Julius!" she kissed him on the edge of his right lips. "Have a Merry Unbirthday~!" she clapped her hands.

...

Teaspoon clattered to the ground. A teacup fell and spilled on the table, the coffee mug crashed the ground and splattered the black liquid to the grasses.

"W-What was that!?" Julius gasped, fuming shyly, feeling his face was hot from contact.

"Um, that was the Unbirthday Present that I gave to everyone, because Her Majesty took my tarts."

"But only Her Majesty owns every tarts in Wonderland! You stole it!" Julius quickly argued, before he stopped wide-eyed. "...Wait. You gave a kiss to every roleholders as their Unbirthday Gift?"

"A friendly-kiss, of course." Alice nodded innocently. "My sisters, Dad and Mum always give me a kiss everyday on my Unbirthdays. On my Birthdays, they'd hug and kiss me and give stupid, frilly dresses and boring books as gifts." She shrugged, fiddling with her fingers, then frowned at the rest of the tea-party members.

"Why are you staring so very intensely? It is kind of rude, you see? Not that I haven't been rude myself..." she hummed, then shrugged. "By all means, I've sent the greetings to all those Roleholders that aren't rude to me! Hmm...I haven't, now that I remember. I've got to leave and find Boris and Ace. Fairfarren, all!"

"Oh no, no, no, sweetheart..." she turned in confuse as Blood Dupre stood from his chair and smirked, while his wand turned threateningly into a gun, and was pointed at her.

"What's your hurry, dear Alice?" Elliot was now smiling sweetly, while holding a gun towards her as well.

"The party is not over yet, Alice..." Blood tilted his head, "In fact, it's not going to be over at all! So why don't you go back to your seat, as right now, for the first time, I'd warmly invite you to my grand tea-party..."

Alice swallowed.

"And while we're at it, why don't you greet us and give us our Unbirthday Presents?" Elliot grinned in hope.

Alice sighed. "Oh, so you'll let me leave if I do so?"

"Yes, yes, we will!" Elliot was practically begging, eyes glimmering in super-chibi-hare-cuteness. Blood didn't answer.

The girl sighed again and stomped to Elliot's seat. "Happy Unbirthday, dear March Hare." She then kissed him at the right lips as well.

"Oh my, oh my, oh my, this is the best Unbirthday Present ever!" Elliot was crying and blushing.

Alice smiled a little, then moved to Pierce, kissing him on the same place where she'd kissed Julius and Elliot.

"Oh what!? What!? The cat!? The Bat! The—youjustkissedme!?" Pierce gasped, and he didn't return to sleep, touching the edge of his right lips and froze for...apparently, eternity.

Alice then reluctantly and half-heartedly, went to Blood's seat.

"You don't have to accept the present if you don't want to." She wardned, and then said; "Happy Unbirthday, Mad Hatter! Will you accept my gift?"

Blood had a very big battle in the back of his mind. He had a big pile of pride, while there was a big wave of begging which hitting that pile of pride.

"Um...if you don't answer, I'll take that as a...yes." Alice sighed and closed her eyes as she kissed the Hatter on his right edge of lips, then pulled back instantly. "Done! Now I have to go. The last one I found will be kissed on the lips." She sighed.

"Why on the lips?" Julius twitched.

"Oh, I'm just doing a Kiss Hunt-game my family always play in Birthday Parties. I say, why not do it in Unbirthdays? Now excuse me, gentlemen! Fairfarr—"

"Haven't I told you, sweetheart?" Blood had gripped her wrist, smiling condescendingly. "My tea party isn't going to be over...at all!"

He then pulled her down to the seat next to him, and took out a butter knife and cut off the ropes that bind Julius to his chair.

"I think I'd rather have the time to be forever in the Tea-time, dear Monrey." Blood smiled dangerously. "You may go now, or never."

Julius gulped and quickly left, but he wouldn't forget how Alice was staring at him with wide eyes of despair; obviously saying:

"SOMEBODY HELP MEEE!"

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**Next chapter will be the end!**


End file.
